Dong Xuan Market, Hanoi | Vietnam

With 17,622 google reviews at the time of my writing, Chợ Đồng Xuân (Dong Xuan Market) may be the most popular tourist attraction in Hanoi. And . . . it’s awful.

The market itself is a 4 story Soviet style behemoth, with open balcony interiors looking down on a central atrium. Structure is minimal, with booths variously constructed of shelving, chain link fence, and sometimes just curtains. They overflow into one another, and into the tiny walking spaces between them. Stalls are roughly grouped by category (keys, fabric on the bolt, fans, bluetooth speakers, kids clothes, shoes, etc.)

The market radiates from the building into its surrounding streets (Hàng Khoai, Cầu Đông, Đồng Xuân, Cao Thắng, Nguyễn Thiện Thuật). Every block is coated with storefronts selling infinite volumes of dross, then crusted with street food sellers, walking and bike peddlers, and motorbike taxi drivers.

An upward glance reveals a shantytown skyline. A few sellers were clearly living out of their booths; I suspect many more spend their nights packed like sardines across the street, heading back to their villages every now and then.

The chaos and filth actually don’t bother me. I can spend hours rifling through the bins at Goodwill, or tinkering at a flea market. I hated this place for the two most obvious reasons: the merchandise and the people.

The merchandise is 100% China-made garbage. Thrown into mountains as tall as I am, stacked up to ceilings, shoved into crevices . . . the polyester and plastic shout that humanity is a parasite killing its host. Are there even enough people in Hanoi to consume all this dreck? I doubt it, especially considering buyers of this sort of thing don’t have enough money to make frequent purchases. This stuff wasn’t worth the environmental impact of its manufacture.

Apart from the appalling quality and styles on offer, there’s extremely little variety. It was dizzying and disappointing to tiptoe down each tiny unmapped path, only to realize the suitcases, backpacks, fabrics, shoes, designer knockoffs, and fake-handmade “Vietnamese” souvenirs were exactly the same wherever I turned. For example, I saw literally thousands of the same few Elsa/Frozen themed backpacks, but not a single packing cube (which I really need right now).

Even so, I planned on walking away with a hat (because I forgot mine, and could feel my skin burning) and perhaps even a pair of Gucci-Vuitton-New York Yankees logo slides as a lark. I didn’t, because the people here were pretty gross negotiators.

For those of you who don’t know my past lives, I’m a great bargainer. I won’t spout off my whole resumé, but rest assured that I’m comfortable both gingerly mediating a $12 million CPW co-op deal and energetically haggling a 20% discount on Ted Lapidus shades at the Hell’s Kitchen flea market. I went to school for it. I am certified in it. And I found the bargaining at this market distasteful and tiresome.

It may be different for other visitors, but as a 30-something white woman I am a walking dollar sign. Of course, I also know how much things cost on AliExpress, so I know what I’m willing to pay. The sellers in this market (and Vietnam in general) tend to push too hard and long for too much, and lose the sale.

For example, a girl selling hats initially quoted me the equivalent of $7.52 for a hat that absolutely did not cost her more than 60 cents. For reference, a handmade, high quality hat can be purchased in a classy boutique on Silk Street for between $10.50 and $14.20; there’s no practical need to overpay for trash in this lowbrow capitalist inferno.

I offered $4, then $5, but she simply would not come down past $6.88 on what I know to be a 45-60 cent hat, even with hundreds of them stacked waist high all around her. Instead of jumping on $5, she decided to try to wear me down by wasting my time. First she asked another hat seller girl what the price should be . . and then some other hat seller hanging around . . . then she flagged down some professional looking guy to translate, as if the language barrier was the problem, not the price. After fewer than ten minutes I rolled my eyes and walked, because I’d rather pay for a cab to avoid sunburn than buy a hat from someone like her.

I’m sure a lot of bedraggled sweaty tourists think she’s disgusting but give her the $7 anyway because they need to make it to their water puppet theater show or whatever. I bet many rationalize to themselves that $2 is not worth getting heated over and this girl probably needs the money more than them. Fuck that! People here love scamming foreigners and I refuse.

There was a similarly irritating scenario with a knockoff Goyard bag. The seller quoted me $342 (!!!) for a counterfeit Senat PM pouch, and had the audacity to tell me it was ‘real and original.’ LOLLLLLLLZZZZZ, the very definition of adding insult to injury. What Western woman has she ever met who believed new and authentic Goyard accessories are wholesaled and flown around the globe from Dong Xuan market, the commercial shithole of Hanoi?

“Third strike and I’m out” came in the form of a bottle of water. In minimarts and from street vendors, a small bottle of water costs between 21 and 26 cents. It’s a universally known norm. The lady here kept insisting that the price was 43 cents. She would not budge, would not take my money when I handed her the bill, showing me two bills . . . this woman was either so greedy or so disdainful of foreigners she was willing to die on her 22 cent hill. Byyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee.

If I’m going to overpay for cheap Chinese crap, I prefer to do so on Shopee, from the comfort of my home. I will also do it out of convenience, while I’m doing something else that I actually care about. Dong Xuan market is certainly not destination shopping.

Cat Cat Village, Sa Pa | Vietnam

There’s no nice way to say it . . . Cat Cat Village is fake. It’s an entirely modern tourist trap built as a combo souvenir shop/Instagram set. Can you see ethnic minority people there? Sure. Can you buy genuine handicrafts from them? Yes, assuming you know what to look for. 

90% of the place, however, is Vietnamese shopkeepers selling junk souvenirs and costumes to Vietnamese tourists, who spend the day taking photos for social media. The costumes are about as close to what local minority women wear as Disney’s Princess Jasmine outfit is to traditional Kurdish costume.

No one lives in the “H’mong family houses,” they just sell batik outside. To add insult to injury, Vietnamese pop music blasts through loudspeakers, and every couple hours there’s a ridiculous dance show supposedly featuring ethnic minority performers doing traditional dances in traditional costume (nope, definitely not, and barely).

The village is more or less a convenience. If you are:

• too old or infirm to hike to a real village, or

• you want to pick up Western style clothes “inspired by” the craft processes of the region (rather than wear things made by and for H’mong and Dao), or

• you only travel for the ‘gram so you’re trying to get as many picturesque selfies as possible in one day

this is the place for you.

Personally, I only had two hours to spend here, and almost burst into tears when it seemed like the paths of shit shops would never end, and any good landscape shot was occupied by at least 3 couples inanely posing.

My best advice for Cat Cat village is:

#1 It’s better under the influence. The food is better, the trash souvenirs are funnier, the people taking their social media personas way too seriously seem less of a nuisance, and when you inevitably overpay for something, it bothers you less

#2 Do it backwards. The main entrance is right next door to the Sapa Sky hotel. Pay for your ticket, get a map, and then walk down the hill for 20 minutes to the other entrance and go in there. If you want to buy authentic clothes and snacks from local ethnic minority people, they occupy the far less trafficked backend of the park, probably because the rent is cheaper. 

Phan Xi Păng "Fansipan" Mountain: "The Roof of Indochina" | Vietnam

AT 3,147 meters, Mount Fansipan is the highest mountain in both Vietnam and the Indochinese Peninsula. There are three ways to get to the peak: easy, moderate, and quite difficult.

The easy way up really is easy, with 3 funicular trains and 1 cable car bringing you up in less than 2 hours and only 50 steps or so. In Sapa Town, you buy a funicular ticket at Fansipan Legend’s Sapa Station (conveniently located at the corner of Fansipan Road, across from the BB hotel). I would also recommend hitting up the Vietcombank ATM across the street because the easy way up is not cheap! Between tickets (which you must purchase individually for each train) and the cups of hot chocolate or snacks you will absolutely want for fuel, you will spend around $40. And that’s assuming you’re properly dressed . . . I had to blow another $20 or $30 on earmuffs and gloves.

Funicular tickets are available from 7am to 5pm, and the funicular leaves every half hour. Sapa Station is clogged with shops selling overpriced, terrible quality cold weather gear (counterfeit Chanel and Gucci shawls; acrylic berets; those ubiquitous stuffed animal earmuffs) and Vietnamese specialties (indigo, honey, medicinal liquor complete with preserved reptiles).

The funicular ride to SunWorld is lovely no matter the time of day. The train was built with an antique vibe, is extremely clean, and the maybe ten minute trip is picturesque. You wind away from Sapa Town on a narrow track, cutting through mountainsides and emerging above little villages and rice terraces.

The funicular stops in a second station that is pretty in a Disney kind of way. There’s an unnecessarily large outdoor market with tons of local produce, souvenirs, and restaurants. There’s a giant new-but-old-fashioned-style Buddhist temple. There’s a long hill everyone seems to walk up, not realizing it just goes to a parking lot. There are local crops contrived into formal gardens. It’s all very Instagram-y. The entrance to the cable car is sort of hidden in the station, tricking people into exploring.

To not exaggerate at all, the cable car ride is majestic. It is both the world's longest (at 6,282meters) and features the highest ascent (rising 1,410 meters); I found myself fathoming its construction. The view over the steep mountains is predictably beautiful. It’s even better at sunset, or on a cloudy day when you enter the cloud ceiling and then pop out above it.

Once you arrive at the welcome station on Mount Fansipan, the cold hits. I instantly regretted not bringing a warm coat/scarf/gloves. Luckily there is a shop up there for people like me! There is also a restaurant that sells basic junk meals like fried noodles with veggies, french fries, pizza, and ice cream.

Out of the station, you need to walk perhaps a couple hundred steps up to another funicular station. That train will take you further up the mountain to the temple complex. These Buddhist temples and statues  are undoubtedly beautiful, but look like real life CGI. They are only 5 years old now, and were built for Vietnamese and Chinese tourists. The ethnic minority people in the region are primarily Animist or even Catholic. 

A third funicular goes up a narrow and very steep track to a beautiful café that never has coffee. This is where the Instagram girls (who tricked you into thinking this was comfortable and easy!) drink their $7 hot chocolates, peel off their parkas and boots, and put on their heels and makeup. The café is only 20 steps or so from the peak.

If I were to do it again, I would visit in the summer. Even with the heat cranked up to the max, the café could not get warmer than 40 degrees. Outside it was bitterly cold and windy. If I were bundled up in my NY winter gear I would have been OK, but even with double sweatshirt and double leggings, gloves, scarf and earmuffs, I was terribly underdressed.

There are wide decks all around the peak that pack with tourists doing their photoshoots. The views are sublime; the horizon goes on forever. Sapa Town and its constellation of small villages look tiny and distant.

The medium-difficulty route is the one most Westerners take. With this method, you take the funicular and cable car to the mountain welcome station, but walk 630+ steps up to the top. That doesn’t seem like much, but is physically taxing at altitude, in the cold. I found myself popping into the temples and praying for motivation!

The truly difficult route was the only way up before 2016. You can either take a grab cab from Sapa (30 to 45 minutes) or trek half a day to the base of the mountain. Once there, you need to arrange for a guide with the Hoang Lien National Park Service, if you haven’t already made arrangements through a tour company. 

The hike isn’t technically tough by mountain climbing standards, but there are sections of ladders and handholds on steep faces. Courage, fitness and some skill and/or guidance are required! Your possession of these determines how quickly you can make it up: practiced climbers can do it in one 16 hour day, but most people take 2 or 3 days. There are 3 camps on the way up; none have hot water and it’s a BYO food and bedding situation. There are sheds to sleep in (so you don’t need to bring a tent), but nothing to cook with and no restrooms.

Summiting Mount Fansipan is a rite of passage for young couples in Vietnam; helping each other to the top apparently reflects the strength and endurance of a love match. I enjoyed the trip, but perhaps not enough to drag a lover back. In the words of Marvin Gaye, ain’t no mountain high enough!

Trekking Sa Pa | Vietnam

The most popular thing to do in Sa Pa is hike around the nearby villages and sleep in hill tribe homestays. It is the best way to get to know the tribes around Sa Pa, and learn a bit about their culture, how they self-identify and how they relate to each other.

It’s also way more challenging than I expected! I was picturing a relaxing nature walk . . . nope. There was some technical hiking involved, and the villages are high up in the mountains. In my group of seven people (all with different fitness and skill levels) everyone ended up winded and sore, and a couple of us fell at least once on the washed out trails.

I went with Lily’s travel agency, and the H’mong guide brought us on the old mountain trails the villagers use to get around, not tourist trails. Very little walking was done on paved roads or even cut steps. The dexterity of the local people (who grew up climbing the mountain trails every day) is amazing. Older people, small children, and people carrying heavy loads in shower shoes were doing better than tourists in their mid-20s with Alpine experience, hiking boots and poles!

The physical challenge required enough of my concentration that it was hard to keep track of where we were going next and what we were supposed to see there. Differences between villages and tribes that are blatant to a local weren’t so clear to my foreign eyes, especially after dehydration, sunburn and knee problems set in . . .

Local women on their way to Sapa would often turn around and follow along, lending a hand as necessary. When we stopped for lunch and dinner, they would try to sell us the handicrafts they kept in their baskets. Some Westerners are very annoyed by this, but I think $10 for 3 hours of sherpa service and a piece of batik is a great deal.

They also made the cutest little motivational gifts from grasses and flowers, while I was resting or taking pictures. It takes about 3/4 of a day to get above the clouds, and I admit I felt a sense of accomplishment!

The first village we visited was a Black Hmong village. The rice had just been harvested, so it was interesting to see what else was growing: cabbages, pumpkins, green beans, water spinach, leeks and many varieties of potatoes. Everyone had a loom to weave hemp and a vat of indigo on the porch (indigo dye smells terrible). Freshly dyed fabric was drying out on a water line or fence outside every house. Everything is blue near the houses; blue stains on the floors, fences, paths, rocks, and all the women have blue stained hands.

There were so many dogs, the kind I am not accustomed to seeing: big mixes, mama dogs, so many puppies. Other domesticated animals included pigs, goats, chickens, ducks and water buffalo. Slaughtering an animal is a big deal here and a lot of tourists don’t realize that the beef or pork served to them is really a luxury for the people who made it. In an effort to avoid tapeworms I won’t eat pork here, and avoid beef as much as possible; the locals are always either terribly insulted or openly gleeful they get to eat my portion, never indifferent.

I was surprised when our Black Hmong guide told us that despite living so close together for hundreds of years, the local tribes have mutually unintelligible languages; a Black Hmong can’t understand a White Hmong, for example. The mountains are so steep that until around 30 years ago, communication with the outside world was very limited and these villages were much more isolated than they seem now. Lingua Franca is Vietnamese; in the past it was French and everyone here calls me ‘Madame.’

I think it’s fair to say the tribespeople are interested in Western commerce, but not Western culture. Everyone has a smartphone, Facebook, Whatsapp, motorbike, and they are all very keen to learn English. However, they prefer their traditional dress, traditional food, traditional lifestyle.

Everyone marries early and has 5 or 6 kids. Women live with their husband’s family and help with farming and cleaning, but meet up with their own mothers and grandmothers to eat lunch, make clothes and craft little things to sell. Ridiculous EDM pumps in some homestays because they think Westerners like it, but a party here is staying up until 10 shooting ‘happy water’ (the rice equivalent of bathtub gin) and listening to guys play traditional flute music. Over the past 10 or so years, members of different tribes are intermarrying more and more.

I was lucky enough to partially witness (from a respectful distance, so I don’t have pictures, sorry) two important ceremonies: the traditional breakfast party given the morning after a wedding, and the 10 year celebration of a death (including animist rituals, chanting, and the sacrifice of a water buffalo). A lot of the hill tribe people are also Catholic, meaning that though they were converted by the French a hundred years ago, and attend the church in Sapa town with some regularity, they run their lives by the lunar calendar, observing a blend of Daoist, Buddhist and Animist traditions.

The lunch spots in the villages undeniably cater to tourists, but locals do also stop by to eat. It’s usually just someone’s house with a poured cement area for diners. They always let other locals sell groceries or knick-knacks in front. We also walked through a bamboo forest, and saw endless large potted plants, many on pedestals. I was very surprised to learn they are exotic orchids being cultivated for export! Further down the mountain, poinsettias for Christmas were also being grown.

I paid $75 for my 3 days of trekking with 2 nights at homestays, transport to and from Hanoi, and meals included. In my opinion it’s an unbeatable value for a must-do experience. HOWEVER, if you are not particularly athletic, don’t feel bad about doing a one day trek and homestay instead of something longer; you won’t miss much. My best advice is to check weather reports and plan your trip for sunny days. When it’s rainy the trails get dangerous, and when it’s cloudy you won’t get the spectacular mountain views people go for.

Sa Pa Town | Vietnam

Sa Pa is a popular tourist destination situated in the Northwestern highlands of Vietnam, in Lao Cai province, near the Chinese border. The main draws are interacting with exuberant and traditionally dressed ethnic minorities, and trekking through 500 year old rice terraces and bamboo forests. 

The more athletic climb Mount Fansipan, the highest mountain in Indochina; the more materialistic hit all the ethnic and faux-ethnic shops and markets. Some come just to escape the heat and pollution of Hanoi, and stay in a luxury hotel for a relatively low price. Others come to rough it with the locals, butchering their own meals and cross-stitiching the day away in a wifi-free world.

Before the 16th century, the area was very sparsely populated, but there is evidence of prehistoric people: a 3 square mile area of 150-200 large stones carved with petroglyphs (called Bãi Đá Cổ, or Ancient Stone Field) spreads over Tả Van, Hầu Thào and Sử Pán communes in the Mường Hoa valley, just below the town. Archaeologists don’t know much about the glyphs (it’s been suggested that they’re pictographic, religious, related to 3 different language groups, made at different times by different groups, etc.) but believe they date to between 600 and 2000 years ago.

By the 16th century, the northern highlands became home to the various ethnic minority tribes that still live in the villages today: Hmong (over 50%), Dao (25%), Tay (around 5%), and Giay (around 2%); plus Muong, Thai, Hoa and Xa Pho (just a few households of each). These groups were pushed into what is now Vietnam from China, during a time when the border was not clearly defined. 

The hill tribe people you meet in Sapa Town will mostly be Black Hmong and Red Dao, because their tribes have the largest populations in the villages closest to town. Somewhat further away (a day’s walk or so) are the White Hmong and Tay villages. To see other tribespeople in any great number requires a 2+ hour drive out of Sapa. 

Having colonized Tonkin in the 1880s, and signed two treaties with China defining its borders (in 1887 and 1895), the French began building up Sapa Town in the 1910s. At first a military hill station, it quickly became a high society resort. Roughly two days away from Hanoi via train and carriage (these days shortened to 8 hours via sleeper bus), Sa Pa is a relatively cool, mosquito free respite in all seasons. 

The French famously lost their war with the Viet Minh in 1952, and bombed Sapa town into oblivion upon retreat. So, no colonial buildings remain. The French influence, however, lingers in two indelible ways: religion and cuisine. Most of the local Hmong, to my surprise, are Catholic, converted by the French a hundred years ago. As far as Western restaurants go, traditional French cuisine dominates, with boeuf bourgignon, blanquette de veau, and croque monsieurs more readily available here than in Hanoi.

Only in the ‘60s did ethnic Kinh people (the very dominant lowland majority, who foreigners identify as ‘Vietnamese’) begin to visit Sa Pa; only in the ‘90s (when Vietnam changed from central planning to a controlled capitalist economic model) did they begin settling in and opening tourist reliant businesses. Nowadays, the ratio of foreign tourists to Vietnamese natives of any ethnicity is 1:1 in the low season and much higher in the summer months. 

Sa Pa is currently building so much and so quickly it has sparked lots of debate about over-tourism. In town, every other building is a hotel/restaurant; all are constructed around a small, partly artificial lake/park, and every 5th lot or so there’s another hotel going up. Construction laws in Vietnam are lax, so construction noise is a nuisance from sunrise to sunset, 7 days a week. Countless tourist buses, vans and cabs clog the small and windy roads badly enough to make it slightly dangerous to walk during the day, and truly inadvisable after dark. 

In the villages, most families have built houses with cement blocks and corrugated metal roofs, abandoning their traditional wooden architecture. Buzzwords like “ethical and sustainable tourism” have become meaningless ploys to overcharge for the same standardized experiences offered by the gazillion tour companies. The supply of handmade souvenirs far exceeds the demand, and the locals are extremely aggressive about selling them, including lying (*everything* is either an “antique“ or “took 2 years to make”) and trailing Westerners for literal hours. 

Apart from the practical, ecological and economic impacts, a cultural debate is also raging: which is worse, the “Kinh-washing” that’s rebuilding Sapa as a giant luxury instagram set for Vietnamese tourists (who naturally support Kinh-owned businesses that lock minority locals out of their own economy), or the “enforced primitivism” Westerners perpetuate (by patronizing the most old-fashioned/impoverished looking people in the name of authenticity).

I’m making it sound terrible. It’s not! I spent 3 weeks in Sapa and its surrounds and really enjoyed it. 

Hỏa Lò Prison, Hanoi | Vietnam

In 1869, the French built Hanoï’s local Maison Centrale (a generic term for a prison that holds dangerous and long sentence criminals) on “stove street", or Hỏa Lò. The prison is most familiar to Americans like me as the “Hanoi Hilton,” where American fighter pilots who survived bailing out in Northern Vietnam (during the Vietnam War) were held and tortured.

As anyone who’s seen the movie Papillon knows, French colonial prisons were barbaric. In addition to those I was aware of (including rotten starvation rations, complete indifference to hygiene and its resultant diseases, chain gang labor, and nightly ankle shackling), I learned of several new tortures during my visit: misbehaving prisoners were locked in waste-filled latrines, and the sides of the metal barrels beaten until they went deaf; pregnant women were forced to give birth with no medical care, and if they had no family nearby their babies were imprisoned with them, but given neither food nor clothing; etc. . .

I don’t wish to list all the atrocities described, and I’m sure there were others (rape etc.) that were not described by the audio guide either.

The prison (and the rest of Indochine) was briefly seized from the French by the Japanese in 1945, but returned later the same year (when the Japanese surrendered to the Allies, ending World War 2).  Though Ho Chi Minh declared Vietnamese independence in 1945 (beginning the First Indochina War), the prison was held by the French until that independence was actually achieved, with the Geneva Accords signed in 1954.

From 1954 onwards, Hỏa Lò was used to hold local criminals; from 1964, American prisoners of the Vietnam War as well. The last American prisoners were released from Hỏa Lò in 1973; after that it was used for Republic of Vietnam POWs and (particularly after the fall of Saigon in 1975 and reunification of North and South Vietnam in 1976) political dissidents. The last prisoners were relocated from Hỏa Lò to more modern prisons by the late ‘80s. 

The bulk of the building was actually demolished in 1993-1996 to make way for Hanoi Towers, an hotel and apartment building complex. The preserved buildings are the most historically significant: the entry gatehouse; two examples of men’s and women’s quarters; the dungeon; death row; the blue room where American pilots were tortured. There are related artifacts on display in each area. 

There’s also a memorial with golden plaques commemorating the Vietnamese political prisoners, and outside there’s a shrine for those who passed away at Hỏa Lò, and a commemorative garden honoring countries with dedicated protest movements against the Vietnam War.

There are a few “alternative facts” you need to know before you step foot in Hỏa Lò: 

1. Those who committed violent crimes in the name of Vietnamese nationalism were patriots and heroes justified in their actions. Poisoning the food of an entire garrison of 200 French troops with the intent of killing them (Hà Thành plot), or wiping out a third of Vietnamese Christians for fear they would ally with the Catholic French (Cần Vương movement) were not crimes, they were necessary protests against the enemy oppressors. NO criminals were held at Hỏa Lò, just patriots running an honorable revolutionary school, OK!?
   

2. French jailers were brutal, sadistic, and culturally insensitive, but Vietnamese jailers using the same methods in the same setting were providing humane care consistent with the Geneva Convention. American POWs specifically were never tortured. In fact, they were treated to candy, cigarettes and recreational fun, and should be thankful for the opportunity to have known their gracious Vietnamese hosts. So what if we are all quite familiar with (among dozens of others) John McCain’s account of torture and attempted suicide, and saw the damage to his arm and hand? There’s a picture of him smiling while receiving care for that arm from the prison medic, OK!?
   

3. Political dissidents during French occupation were patriots and heroes who should not have been jailed and tortured, but those who oppose the Communist Party of Vietnam are traitors and/or puppets who deserve to be jailed and tortured. Perhaps Amnesty International considers the 97 “prisoners of conscience” still currently imprisoned in 2019 sufficient to qualify Vietnam as “Southeast Asia’s most prolific jailer of peaceful activists” but that’s nothing compared to the thousands imprisoned by the French oppressors, OK!?

To be clear, I am anti-war, anti-torture, anti-hypocrisy, and against rewriting history even with the best intentions. I believe the sole role of government is to serve the physical and practical needs of its citizens. To my mind, governments and politicians should neither legally impose morality beyond ‘do no harm’ extrapolated in its infinite iterations, nor offer any rubric for self-identification beyond the purely obvious and necessary. I don’t believe unity requires conformity, or even consensus. 

I don’t think anyone who’s visited would need me to explain myself, but I also don’t want to be discounted as jingoistic or hyperbolic. I consider myself American by default, not by choice, and certainly not with purpose. By any accounting, the displays, brochure and audio guide in this museum are propagandist. This museum is a classic case of history being written by the victors, so just know before you go.

When you first enter, there’s a small room explaining how the French expropriated the former Phu Khanh village (an ancient craft village specializing in the manufacture of earthenware cooking appliances that had been subsumed into Hanoi proper), relocating its communal house and demolishing its temples, to build the large prison. There are some examples of pots and tiles manufactured in Phu Khanh.

Down a nice enough hallway paved with intact, original (and ubiquitous) French colonial black and white floor tile, you enter a room housing the very torture and execution implements used in the prison, including shackles, clubs, and the guillotine. 

One important thing to understand about the guillotine is that while many Westerners find it the least vicious tool on display, Easterners nevertheless consider it the least humane. In Buddhism the head is the highest and most sacred part of the body, and even touching someone else’s head is considered extremely rude. Therefore, mechanically slicing off a person’s head and displaying it on a pike or in a basket is considered not just a murder, but a spiritual desecration and personal affront.

Next are the stockades for male political prisoners. Unfortunately, the dummy prisoners don’t adequately express the disgusting reality of overcrowding: though the prison was only meant to hold around 600 prisoners, there were over 2000 confined to Hỏa Lò by 1954, creating conditions unsanitary enough to kill off roughly 10% of the prison population each year via disease.

The cachot (English: dungeon), reserved for misbehaving prisoners, was more horrifying than I was prepared for. For a minimum of 15 hours and a maximum of 30 days, prisoners were shackled by their ankles in a reclining position on a 45 degree declining slope, and left to rot. Unable to eat without engaging their core in a tense situp-like position, forced to urinate and defecate in situ, unable to lie back without blood rushing to their head, unable to prop themselves up on their arms without their arms going numb, unable to retain feeling in their legs, most prisoners came out either temporarily or permanently blind, deaf, lame, edematous, and spiritually broken.

Redirected outside, visitors pass an inconspicuous tree, the tropical almond tree. This tree is the sole present living witness of those times, not a replant, and was used by prisoners to make pens, chopsticks, paper, bandages, cups, and other essentials not supplied in jail. Equally as important, its roots were used as a mailbox to pass items between prisoners, and eventually to the outside world.

Before the assigned path funnels you through the gift shop, you pass two grates and tunnels saved from the original sewer system. Using smuggled acid and metal files, several lucky prisoners actually managed to escape through these impossibly small, unfathomably filthy tubes.

Back inside, you pass into the women’s stockades, 5 small rooms with high ceilings and individual windows. Each of the first four features a portrait of a female Vietnamese nationalist agitator with an absolutely heart rending story.

This is the first place in the jail where the lingering sadness really hit me. Quietly listening to the audio guide while gazing at the single decades old portrait in each of the damp, narrow, cement cells (alongside the only one or two similarly silent visitors who could fit inside) felt like paying respects in a tomb. Though only some women physically died there, such large parts of their lives, dreams, families, innocence, health and potential perished there. The desperation is still palpable.

The fifth room in the women’s stockade is for women with children. Denied clothing and food, mothers had to provide for their babies out of their own meager rations. Malnourishment, disease, developmental disability and death were the unfair sentences given to children just for surviving. I can’t imagine having to decide whether to turn my extremely young child out on the streets to fend for itself or whether to keep it tortured and jailed alongside me.

The next large open room is another gallery of brutality. At one end Death Row is preserved, and the thought of more than four men sharing these dark, damp cells (with barely room for two and no bathroom) was so appalling I felt like I could still smell lingering filth. The hall is so narrow tourists take turns to enter single file, and peek through the little barred peep doors. It’s sad to think the presently empty cells receive far more attention than when actual humans with needs waited there, fearful and despondent.

From death row visitors are directed out into much needed fresh air. There are two attached courtyards; the first is a sort of patio strung with origami doves, wallpapered with waterproof displays summarizing anti-Vietnam War protests in many nations all around the world. Though for practical reasons these are not original artifacts as in the rest of the museum, the imagery is moving nonetheless. 

The second courtyard is a carved monument and shrine to honor those who died at Hỏa Lò. The space is open, sunbaked, and austere. I wonder if any relatives of former prisoners ever return here.

The final round of exhibits in the main gatehouse takes us back inside, but this time into administrative rooms rather than cells. In two adjoining rooms, artifacts from American POWs are displayed alongside TVs playing old newsreels of Ho Chi Minh’s wartime speeches (with English subtitles). Though acute torture, deprivation, and suicide attempts are discussed by dozens of American POWs in their postwar memoirs and interviews, what is presented here is a rosy picture of inmates playing basketball, smiling through windows, etc., happy to learn more about their Vietnamese hosts. It’s implied that had American servicemen known more about the Vietnamese cause, they would have never fought against it. 

While we know the smiling photos were made under extreme duress, just like the signed confessions of “air piracy,” the intent here is clearly to abdicate responsibility for abuse. Does it add insult to injury that John McCain’s flight suit and parachute are displayed in the notorious Blue Room where he was tortured, with no mention of that torture?

In day to day life in Vietnam, calling other people out on their shit is simply not done. No one airs their grievances; the Vietnamese either comply and endure, or don’t and are ostracized. At least I have no doubt McCain knew establishing diplomatic ties with Vietnam required letting them float lies without public questioning and criticism. 

The exhibits wind up on the second floor of a second building, another old administrative building. First, there are two rooms lined with golden plaques engraved with the names of Hỏa Lò revolutionary prisoners, fitted out with folding chairs and “educational” films playing on another TV.

More interesting is the next room, which holds artifacts belonging to prisoners who were members of the prison’s Communist Party Cell, people the Vietnamese respect the way Americans regard signers of the Declaration of Independence. Each object is attached to a significant historic event or has a very moving story: the basket used to smuggle out a list of prisoners retained by the French to execute despite the Geneva Convention; a very early one star flag made out of a dyed blanket and piece of parchment paper.

So is Hỏa Lò Prison a must-see in Hanoi? I think so. We are rarely reminded of the atrocities perpetrated during war, and torture is certainly still happening today. It’s easy to not sympathize with “the enemy” until you are “the enemy.”

On a lighter note, Hỏa Lò inexplicably has one of the best museum bookstores I’ve come across in Hanoi. So if you would like to learn some context for your visit to Vietnam, and are in the market for brief, Vietnamese-authored guides in English summarizing Vietnamese history, the life of Ho Chi Minh, etc., you can pick them up here for less than $5 each.

Temple of Literature, Hanoi | Vietnam

The Temple of Literature (Vietnamese: Văn Miếu) is my favorite respite in Hanoi proper. Strolling through helps me forget the overwhelming noise, pollution and business outside, and I can easily spend a couple hours here relaxing.

Founded as a Confucian temple in 1072, by 1076 Quốc Tử Giám University was built over an area just south of the temple, now taken up by 12 city blocks. The school/worship center was where civil servants were trained to serve the Lý dynasty.

The Confucian education system was inherited from the previous thousand years of Chinese occupation (111 BC to 980 AD) and therefore initially derived most of its content and structure from the Chinese system of educating mandarins.

Students generally studied for 3-7 years, learning classical Chinese, Chinese philosophy, Chinese history, and poetry composition. Among others, students read The Four Books (Tứ thư, 四書): "The Great Study" (Đại Học, 大學), "The Golden Means" (Trung Dung, 中庸), "The Analects" (Luận Ngữ, 論語) and "Mencius" (Mạnh Tử, 孟子); Five Pre-Confucian Classics (Ngũ Kinh, 五經): "Book of Odes (Kinh Thi, 詩經), "Book of Annals" (Kinh Thư, 書經), "Book of Rites" (Kinh Lễ, 禮記), "Book of Change" (Kinh Dịch, 易經) and "Book of Spring and Autumn" (Kinh Xuân Thu, 春秋).

The Trần dynasty (1225 - 1400) opened up civil service to commoners, and during this time the famously difficult and competitive exam system developed into its 3 stage form. At specific fortuitous intervals on the Lunar calendar (around 2-3 years apart), exams were administered at provincial, national, and finally royal levels, with the national level schooling and exams taking place at the Temple of Literature. The royal exam was administered by the emperor personally and took place at court.

Four ranks were awarded to successful applicants:

Trạng nguyên (狀元) – first place, reserved for the best scholars

• Bảng nhãn (榜眼) – second place

• Thám hoa (探花) – third place

• Tiến sĩ (進士) – all the other successful applicants

First place was reserved for exceptional genius, not simply scoring the highest in any given exam year. In roughly 800 years of educating scholar/servants, the trạng nguyên rank was only awarded to 55 men.

Though the Vietnamese adapted Chinese script to create their own language (Chữ-Nôm) in the 10th century, it was only in the 12th and 13th centuries that Chữ-Nôm was systematized as the official language of government (and recognized as part of meaningful literature), with appropriate bilingual study materials issued. The classical Chinese characters visible throughout the temple today are Chữ-Nôm, and therefore unintelligible to Chinese readers.

During the Lê dynasty, successful examinees were honored by having their names inscribed on the stone steles still displayed today. The stones tell us that between 1443 and 1778 over a hundred exams were held, with about 20 successful candidates emerging from each exam.

The school limped past the 1770 fall of the Lê dynasty, but eventually closed in 1779 during the Tây Sơn era of decentralized dynasties and peasant revolts. Coming to power in 1802, the Nguyễn dynasty moved their capital from Hà Nội to Huế, opening the new imperial academy there. The former Quốc Tử Giám was reopened as a Hoài Đức district school.

By the time Hanoï was made the capital of French Indochina in 1902, the school had emptied of students and fallen into sufficient disrepair for the French to nickname it “the pagoda of crows,” both a metaphor for its death as a cultural center, and a literal description of the multiple crows nests in old mango trees throughout.

Despite registering the temple as a historic monument in 1906, the French first phased out imperial exams from 1913-1916, and then destroyed large sections of the site during the First Indochina War (1945 - 1954). What stands today is the restored temple complex, but not the outlying school and dormitory buildings.

The layout of the temple was modeled on that of the temple at Qufu, Shandong (Confucius’ birthplace). In Confucianism, morality means respecting the 5 essential social relationships:

1. Ruler and Subject

2. Father and Son

3. Elder Brother and Younger Brother

4. Husband and Wife

5. Friend and Friend

Furthermore, there are five essential elements that form the world: metal, wood, fire, water and earth.

Therefore, there are five consecutive walled courtyards connected by gateways, though in terms of exploration there are really seven main sections:

1. the entry with 4 pillars and Văn Miếu gate

2. the first courtyard and Đại Trung gate

3. the second courtyard with the Khuê Văn Các (Pleiades pavilion)

4. the third courtyard with the Thiên Quang Tinh (heavenly light well), stele pavilions, and Đại Thành (gate of great success)

5. the fourth courtyard with East and West shrines for Confucian disciples and the Ceremony House

6. the fifth courtyard with a shrine to the god of the place and East and West guard houses

7. and finally the Đền Khải Thánh sanctuary and academy building

The four pillars that form the street entrance famously warn riders to dismount. Entry tickets and audio guides are sold just next to the flag lined area. The bronze bell in the front Văn Miếu gate dates from the Trần dynasty, is inscribed with a phoenix and dragon symbolizing the emperor and empress, can only be touched by monks, and was only rung to announce the entry of very prestigious visitors. Walking under the bell to hand your ticket to the security guard, you are on the central path, once reserved solely for royalty (all others had to enter through either of the side gates and walk down those paths).

At graduation and back-to-school seasons, you can find busloads of Vietnamese students of all ages racing through the first courtyard to pose at the various gates. The first gate, connecting the first and second courtyards, is the Đại Trung Môn, translated as “great middle gate”. It is so called because it combines the names of two important works of Confucianism: Đại Học (Great Learning) and Trung Dung (The Doctrine of the Mean). T

The carp symbol at the top references a Chinese proverb explaining that while many carp swim against the stream, the few that manage to jump over the waterfall become dragons. The left side gate is the gate of Accomplished Virtue (Thành Đức), and the right side gate is the gate of Attained Talent (Đạt Tài). In Chinese tradition, the left side is more important than the right, so these gates serve to remind students that talent will only get you so far, hard work has to take you the rest of the way.

The second courtyard is my personal favorite area of the temple, and is where students traditionally spent their time studying and relaxing outdoors. The waterlily ponds and lawns remain incredibly soothing!

The Khuê Văn Các (constellations pavilion) is named to symbolize the Temple of Literature’s role as the brightest star in the Vietnamese educational and cultural firmament. The circle and square ornament enclosing the bell symbolizes sky and earth, yin and yang.

In the third courtyard, the Thiên Quang Tinh (heavenly light well) served both as a literal mirror for scholars to dress themselves appropriately and as a symbol for calm and careful reflection.

There are 82 steles of doctors (9 of the original 91 have been lost to war and natural disasters). The bases of the steles are carved as tortoises who literally stand for longevity and wisdom, ensuring the names of the successful students last forever.

The Đại Thành Môn (gate of great success) connecting the third and fourth courtyards is the architectural distinction between the areas meant for relatively casual student use, and the areas intended for worship.

In the fourth courtyard, the once Eastern and Western shrines for Confucian worshippers are now dedicated to tourist retail and offices. Formerly the Eastern building was devoted to Confucius and the Western building to Chu Văn An (the most famous historic master of the Imperial Academy). Now you can buy a bottle of water or an artistic bit of calligraphy here. Every effort is made to prune the potted plants into animal shapes, with little success.

The Đại Bái Đường (House of Ceremony) is the first really impressive interior, where new doctors kneeled and prayed for both physical longevity (symbolized by the crane) and eternal acclaim (symbolized by the turtle). Just beyond the House of Ceremony is the Đại Thành Sanctuary, where locals still come to worship and bring offerings for Confucius and his four greatest disciples. In the past, emperors and other eminences have worshipped here.

The fifth courtyard is oddly empty and unornamented. There’s a second street exit on the south west end. The buildings on the side are shuttered. I have met one person who visited on a Saturday afternoon/evening and happened upon a classical Vietnamese musical performance of some sort happening here.

At the far end are the former guard houses, which now house little local art exhibits and a stand where you can purchase? or rent? (I don’t know, I’ve thankfully evaded them to date) scarves so as to not offend the religious old ladies squawking in loud disapproval of your shoulders/arms/cleavage/miniskirt.

Beyond the guard houses is the old Imperial Academy administration building. Downstairs there are displays of relics that once belonged to scholars and students, including books, calligraphy brushes, ceremonial robes, scrolls and their lacquered cases, royal decrees etc. There are also a few very very old photos of the buildings and grounds from the turn of the last century. It’s incredible to see how this rather visually empty area has become a very densely populated urban neighborhood.

One current use of the building that connects with its past is its role as the site for judging entries in national contests of various traditional Vietnamese art forms. I have seen elderly, traditionally dressed judges carefully examining the finalist entries for annual ceramics, waterolor, and calligraphy contests here.

Upstairs is dedicated to the worship of the three emperors who contributed the most to the temple and university:

• Lý Thánh Tông (1023–1072), who founded the temple in 1070 (middle altar)

• Lý Nhân Tông (1066–1127), who founded the Imperial Academy (right altar)

• Lê Thánh Tông (1442–1497), who introduced the steles in 1484 (left altar)

There’s a little balcony in front with a great open view of the old sections of the city.

Back outside, there’s a pagoda bell that was cast in 2000, when the fifth courtyard was renovated. I’ve never heard it rung! In Buddhism generally, the belief is that ringing the bell awakens the mind, reminding Buddhists to share love and pray for peace. Supposedly when the bell’s peals reach heaven, the dead rest in peace; when the peals reach hell, sinners are temporarily released from their suffering. In traditional Vietnamese bronze casting, it’s known that mixing in a certain proportion of pure gold helps the sound of the bell carry farther. In Vietnam, donors are proud to donate real gold (at great expense, obviously) for pagoda bells, considering it a family honor.

If you can’t tell, for me this a Hanoi must-do. Tickets are 30,000 VND (less than $2 USD) and audio guides (which are totally worth it!!) are an additional amount.

Etro's Paisley Inspiration at the Cooper Hewitt

Recently the Cooper Hewitt Design Museum in New York City put up an interesting exhibit of the historic textiles that inspired Veronica Etro’s Spring/Summer 2018 Tree of Life collection.

While I’ve owned the odd piece (a hair turban, a bikini, a silk chiffon scarf, a pair of velvet flats . . . ) I’ve never been fully at home with Etro.

On one hand I so enjoy the school of fashion design they embody: multigenerational Italian family business; super-luxe textiles; intense and intricate details and trim, always. Though the company was founded in the 60s and sourced its signature swirling paisley in India, it very much gives me those Renaissance Venetian trade goods vibes.

The Etro DNA that doesn’t flatter me personally includes the palette (olive, mustard, merlot and lime always reappear), and the tendency of the garments to “wear me”. For those reasons, it’s much easier for me to incorporate the Etro home collection into my life than the womenswear.

To be clear, these are not criticisms! Etro is beautifully designed and produced, and perfectly focused for a specific woman, I’m just not the Etro woman in terms of coloring/personality.

I still enjoyed the exhibit, which showed how artifacts in the Etro archive directly influenced the silhouettes, prints and embellishments in the S/S 2018 collection.

Paisley provokes such strong associations: the wall hanging purchased during a gap year, the shawl on the piano in spaghetti Westerns, the underside of patio umbrellas in the 70s.

There’s no symbolism with paisley, just abstraction. Paisley gets you thinking! And the more time you spend staring at the intricacy of the iterations, the more likely your brain will leap from thinking to dreaming . . .

Minimalism/Maximalism: The Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology 50th Anniversary Exhibit

photographing a circa 1875 American top hat

The 50th Anniversary Exhibit at the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology is themed Minimalism/Maximalism, and pairs costumes from the late 18th century through 2019. The couplings are meant to demonstrate that minimalism and maximalism not only cycle (alternately dominate era by era) over time, but become stylistically more or less distinguishable depending on other elements in the zeitgeist (media, politics, economics, etc.)

Is minimalism just maximalism directed inwards? John Galliano discusses his concept for Maison Martin Margiela’s Spring 2019 collection, “Artisanal”

Listening to John Galliano explain his inspiration for the Margiela Spring 2019 collection (“Artisanal”) was incredibly interesting not just in terms of following another person’s philosophical journey, but also due to his dreamy suggestiveness contrasting so sharply with the remainder of the exhibit, which features explicitly iconic trend pieces only.

Anrealage Fall 2018

Anrealage Fall 2018

Walking through, I had my own revelation— we consumers of fashion take so much of it personally! We credit our desires for less AND more to personal growth/exploration/actualization rather than a heavily manipulated environment; taking on the less/more cycle as a matter of personal choice feels like the correct intellectual step, but also imposes an emotional burden.

Narciso Rodriguez Spring 2011

Comme des Garçons Spring 2018

Narciso Rodriguez Spring 2011; Comme des Garçons Spring 2018

Narciso Rodriguez Spring 2011; Comme des Garçons Spring 2018

The flipside of disempowerment is relief. I don’t like the idea that I have been manipulated by design and marketing trends into self-destructive consumerism, and knowing I hit the dead end of a path that was supposed to lead to self actualization really adds insult to injury! On the other hand, knowing I’m not uniquely stupid or silly or superficial (and therefore I shouldn’t feel uniquely guilty) gives me closure. As I walked the darkened exhibit loop, occasionally stung by nostalgia, I actually went through the 5 stages of grief!

Yves Saint Laurent F/W 1965-66

Yves Saint Laurent F/W 1965-66

Yves Saint Laurent F/W 1965-66; Jil Sander Spring 1996; Akris Spring 2017

Yves Saint Laurent F/W 1965-66; Jil Sander Spring 1996; Akris Spring 2017

Yohji Yamamoto F/W 1991

Yohji Yamamoto F/W 1991

Agatha Ruiz de la Prada S/S 2014

Comme des Garçons Spring 2017

Zandra Rhodes F/W 1981

Comme des Garçons Spring 2017; Agatha Ruiz de la Prada S/S 2014; Zandra Rhodes F/W 1981

Iris van Herpen & Jólan van der Wiel 2015

Christian Lacroix Spring 1991; Etro Fall 2013

Christian Lacroix Spring 1991; Etro Fall 2013

DENIAL: Did maximalism and minimalism really figure as much in my purchasing as practicality? Was occasionally purchasing for my fantasy self to keep my dreams alive really so impractical? Did I really need to re-evaluate my relationship to maximalism and minimalism beyond superficial taste in garments?

circa 1780 French silk waistcoat

circa 1785 French court suit

circa 1785 French court suit

circa 1775-1780 English evening shoes

circa 1808 French shoes

circal 1780-90 French or English suit

circa 1780-1790 French or English silk velvet suit; circa 18033-1805 American cotton muslin dress

Circa 1850 American made “Dandy” ensemble

ANGER: If I hadn’t had an emotionally deprived childhood my material desires wouldn’t be so perversely extravagant! Also, how could I have hurt myself so much, stolen from my future, my health, my pets, my boyfriends, because I preferred to spend my attention and funds on shopping for beautiful things? I could have had a house, a kid, a stock portfolio . . .and all that fancy stuff just makes me feel overwhelmed when I don’t wear it, and a bit of impostor syndrome when I do. An emotional pyramid scheme!

circa 1855 American dress

circa 1883 Worth evening gown

circa 1883 Worth evening gown

circa 1908 Suzanne Talbot hat

circa 1908 Suzanne Talbot hat

Callot Soeurs circa 1909; Brooks Brothers circa 1907

Callot Soeurs circa 1909

Callot Soeurs circa 1909

Callot Soeurs circa 1909

American cycling hat circa 1895

Madame Agnès cloche circa 1929; American cycling hat circa 1895

circa 1916 American denim walking suit

circa 1929 French wool ensemble

circa 1916 American denim walking suit; circa 1927 silk Gabrielle Chanel dress; circa 1929 French wool ensemble

America panne velvet circa 1925

BARGAINING: From now on I’ll be minimal in my number of garments, maximal only in their nature. Starting now I will keep a steady weight so I don’t waste money buying wardrobes for iterations of myself in a 50 pound range. Once my body is right I will set a strict budget, research trends and plan my seasonal purchasing. I will only buy blue chip pieces I can easily resell . . .

circa 1928 American flapper dress

circa 1928 American flapper dress

circa 1928 American “Flapper” dress; circa 1926 American evening dress; Cheney Brothers curtain panel circa 1930

Fenton Footwear circa 1929

circa 1922 French evening bag

circa 1925 American headband

circa 1926 American evening coat

Muriel King 1932; Elizabeth Hawes 1930

circa 1930 American evening gown

circa 1930 American evening gown; 1938 Elsa Schiaparelli handbag; Jeanne Paquin 1939

circa 1930 American evening gown; Jeanne Paquin 1939

1938 Elsa Schiaparelli handbag

Elsa Schiaparelli 1938

Adrian suit circa 1945

circa 1945 Gilbert Adrian label by Pola Stout suit; circa 1952-3 Claire McCardell dress; circa 1938-40 American sandals

DEPRESSION: I’ve already lost the war. I’m almost 40, broke, with little to show for it. I have no one to look beautiful for, nowhere to wear my beautiful things. I can’t even show off my best stuff to the internet void because most doesn’t fit me and I don’t have the confidence anyway. Will I ever get my body back? It was all a waste of money and hope., and facing these facts is making me feel lots of anxiety and causing dysfunctional levels of procrastination and guilt.

Hardy Amies circa 1948

circa 1948 Hardy Amies evening gown

circa 1948 Hardy Amies evening gown

Anne Fogarty 1952; Pierre Balmain 1959

André Courrèges moon boots 1965; André Courrèges couture dress 1962; Marcello jumpsuit 1970

André Courrèges moon boots 1965; André Courrèges couture dress 1962; Marcello jumpsuit 1970

Bill Blass, 1967

Michael Mott for Paraphernalia circa 1968

Wastebasket Boutique by Mars of Ashville paper dress 1968; Michael Mott for Paraphernalia circa 1968

Wastebasket Boutique by Mars of Ashville paper dress 1968; Michael Mott for Paraphernalia circa 1968

Peter Max for Randy, 1969

Bloomingdales jacket 1969; Thea Porter dress 1973; Larsen Design Studio upholstery 1971; Peter Max for Randy sneakers, 1969

Bloomingdales jacket 1969; Thea Porter dress 1973; Larsen Design Studio upholstery 1971

Bloomingdales jacket 1969; Thea Porter dress 1973

Mr. Fish 1972

Mr. Fish 1972; Yves Saint Laurent Rive Gauche 1976

Dr. Scholls 1974

Jordache jeans 1976

Stephen Burrows 1973; Halston 1976

Stephen Burrows 1973; Halston 1976

Elsa Peretti 1971

Elsa Peretti 1971

ACCEPTANCE: I guess it’s not entirely my fault, zeitgeist and societal pressures do exist, and also I’m human, not a crystal-ball-slash-mortgage-calculator. I had little support or guidance in life AND I’m hardly alone. My hard-won wardrobe should be giving me joy and confidence, not taking it away from me, and I have the power to make either happen. I also possess the poise to not hate myself even when I can’t cope as quickly or well as I’d like, and when I make mistakes. Most importantly, I’ve really learned something here and can let that simmer in my subconscious for as long as I want.

Larry LeGaspi 1979

Thierry Mugler 1979

Larry LeGaspi 1979; Thierry Mugler 1979

Versace Fall 1991

Bob Mackie 1989; Versace Fall 1991

Bob Mackie 1989; Versace Fall 1991

Karl Lagerfeld suit 1984-85

Gianni Versace Couture bag Spring 1991

Karl Lagerfeld suit 1984-85; Gianni Versace Couture bag Spring 1991

Prada circa 1990s

Prada 1990s

Comme des Garçons 1983

Comme des Garçons 1983

Calvin Klein 1996

Calvin Klein 1996

Donna Karan Fall 1985; Giorgio Armani Fall 1985; Calvin Klein 1996

Maison Martin Margiela F/W 1990-91; Helmut Lang F/W 1994-95

Maison Martin Margiela F/W 1990-91; Helmut Lang F/W 1994-95

Maison Martin Margiela F/W 1990-91

Hussein Chalayan 1999

Hussein Chalayan 1999

LOL! So I did feel relief by the time I left, but also a residual longing to look better and get closer to my fantasy self. We all talk about ‘getting back to ourselves’ after both tragedies and happy setbacks, but do we actually mean retreating to our old dreams, vices, delusions, routines?

Shaun Leane for Alexander McQueen F/W 2001-02

Shaun Leane for Alexander McQueen F/W 2001-02; Givenchy Couture by Alexander McQueen F/W 1997-98

Shaun Leane for Alexander McQueen F/W 2001-02

Givenchy Couture by Alexander McQueen F/W 1997-98; Undercover S/S 2005

Undercover S/S 2005

Manish Aurora Spring 2006

Undercover S/S 2005; Manish Aurora Spring 2006

Louis Vuitton by Takashi Murakami 2003

Louis Vuitton by Takashi Murakami 2003

Giorgio Armani Privé Fall 2007

Undercover S/S 2005; Manish Aurora Spring 2006; Giorgio Armani Privé Fall 2007; Louis Vuitton by Takashi Murakami bag 2003

Undercover S/S 2005; Manish Aurora Spring 2006; Giorgio Armani Privé Fall 2007; Louis Vuitton by Takashi Murakami bag 2003

Stella McCartney Spring 2009

Stella McCartney 2009; Phoebe Philo Pre-fall 2012

Calvin Klein Collection by Francisco Costa Spring 2009

Calvin Klein Collection by Francisco Costa Spring 2009

Bao Bao Issey Miyake 2015

Jil Sander by Raf Simons S/S 2011

Jil Sander by Raf Simons, S/S 2011

I don’t have anything else to say about this exhibit (wink). I did enjoy it! All photos watermarked by the museum were taken by Eileen Acosta.

Cushnie et Ochs Fall 2015; Ellery 2016; Julia y Renata Spring 2019

Adidas 2018

Céline Fall 2015

Céline Fall 2015; Carolina Herrera by Wes Gordon Fall 2019

Richard Quinn Fall 2018

Sacai by Chitose Abe Spring 2016; Gucci Spring 2017; Richard Quinn Fall 2018

Balenciaga 2018

Balenciaga 2018

At least I’ll never be decadent enough to wear these atrocious Balenciaga sneakers!

For inspiration or to donate, check out the Museum at FITs online collection here: http://fashionmuseum.fitnyc.edu/

Also, they have a Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheMuseumatFIT

TC Cannon: At the Edge of America

TC Cannon was a Native American (Kiowa/Caddo/French) painter, poet, musician, and Vietnam vet. His Kiowa name was “he who stands in the sun”, he trained in the Southern Plains style of painting at the Institute of American Indian Arts in Santa Fe, and he passed away in 1978 at the too young age of 31. During his lifetime his work was often interpreted as political and subversive; now it’s clearly so much more: earnest and insightful portraiture; aesthetically emblematic of its era; plaintive and relatable on a personal level. The feeling strongly impressed upon me by his work was patience.

TC Cannon with his father in Vietnam

If you’re interested in all the academic takes on TC Cannon, and want to hear his poetry read aloud, this is a great playlist

I care deeply for the preservation of indigenous American peoples and their cultures. It has taken so long for mainstream perceptions of colonization to change from ‘a fight they lost and we won’ to . . . .the genocide it was. Going to the annual Bear Mountain powwow with my grandfather (who also snail-mailed me related anthropology and archaeology articles, yup, I’m old) helped me learn the difference between considering a cultural outgroup and consuming it. Decades later, as the cultural appropriation debate rages, I find myself reaching back for clarity in the distinction.

This is a TC Cannon song ‘handed down’ in the family of one of his buddies

I’ve never visited the Southwest or the Plains but hope to someday. In his work I see a lot of Gaugin, a very little Catlin. I’d love to see the settings.

His sister still sells his work and manages his estate: http://www.tccannon.com/

Support the Native American Rights Fund: https://www.narf.org/

Go to the Powwow I went to as a little girl: https://www.crazycrow.com/site/event/bear-mountain-powwow/