nyonya

Chinpracha House, Phuket | Thailand

On the outskirts of Phuket town, Chinpracha house is “thought to have been built”* in the third quarter of the 19th century, described in Thai sources as “in the final years of the reign of Rama IV” (Rama IV ruled from 1851- 1868). *This is the phrase used in all sources, as if the family doesn’t remember or can’t locate any records. In my opinion, perhaps an original house was built here in that era and later renovated beyond recognition, reaching its final form 20ish years later. Thais in the area who pride themselves on their Peranakan heritage insist on calling this sort of hodgepodge Victorian architectural style ‘Sino-Portuguese,’ though the Portuguese had been driven out of Phuket well over 200 years before construction began. Perhaps when I make it to Portugal I’ll change my opinion, but stylistically it looks to derive much more directly from the European-fantasy type palaces built by Chulalongkorn (Rama V) in the 1900s and 1910s.

Directly translated, “Chinpracha” means “Chinese Mr. Chua,” which makes me chuckle- they obviously didn’t take choosing a last name too seriously when the 1913 surname act came into effect and many locally-born Chinese felt socially pressured to assume more Thai-ethnic-sounding surnames. The lady of the house (an 80 or 90 something grandma) still lives upstairs, and her grandson and other family members lead the 150 baht tour around the house, and are happy to answer questions to the degree their quite decent English allows. Downstairs is a museum stuffed with all the family’s old furniture, most of it imported from China and Europe at doubtless great expense. Unlike many other museum houses I’ve visited, everything is their old stuff, not antiques bought secondhand and packed inside to create a cash-cow “museum”. They can talk about their old tin business, import-export business, liquor licenses, political influence etc. in some detail, and that history is reflected by the stuff they held onto.

Downstairs is a little café where they serve very basic snacks and drinks, and they have rental costumes if you want to dress in the Peranakan style and do a little photoshoot at the house. Right next door is a blue elephant cooking school in another, slightly younger, old mansion; if I had a bit more money at the time I visited I might have eaten something or gotten a drink there just to check out the interior. It’s also very close to the Michelin bib gourmand Charm Dining Gallery, a much better place to eat. For my final note, I did seek out and watch the old Oliver Stone film Heaven and Earth, which this house served as a set for certain scenes of . . . I enjoyed the house visit, but don’t bother with the movie!

Michelin Meals in Penang | Malaysia

Due to inescapable shitty circumstances, I’ve spent way more time in Penang than I ever wanted to, probably 2 months altogether. Eating is the main activity in Penang, and I’m always interested in trying Michelin mentioned restaurants, because it feels like a safe way to stretch my palate into cuisines I’m unfamiliar with. I only bother with places that get stars or a bib gourmand, and I’m not a completionist- if I have to eat a meal anyway, have the money, and it’s closeby, OK. Otherwise, don’t care. I also prefer to focus on local, traditional food; I have been and will return to Thailand and India, for example, so there’s no reason for me to eat Thai or Indian in Malaysia. Anyway, these are the Michelin rated restaurants I visited in Penang, ranked from most to least favorite.

Sardarji

Yes, I know I just wrote I can eat Indian food in India. However, I would be amiss to not put Sardarji’s first simply because when I’m in Penang and don’t feel like going out, the takeout special below is what I always order to my hotel. It’s reasonably priced at under rm 30 (it would be under rm 20 with plain rice instead of the cheese naan I prefer), and I typically stretch it out into three meals with chopped fresh white mushrooms and side biryani rice. Many famous restaurants in Penang only serve good food in their dining room, sending the scraps and mistakes out for delivery orders. Sardarji’s has always been tasty and consistent.

dhal, buttermilk salad, aloo ghobi, cheese naan

Dal Makhani

Fish Korma

Salt Lassi

Rasa Rasa

The menu at Rasa Rasa is simple- classic Malaysian lunch sets and some Thai dishes. The food was fresh and tasty, the owner was kind, and the space is small and straightforward. Nothing sophisticated but would definitely eat there again were I in the neighborhood.

Bihun with Sambal Prawns

White Coffee

Communal Table by Gēn

I had two different experiences at Communal Table; one excellent, the other not so much. The first time I visited was nothing short of fantastic, the best meal I had in Penang by far; I walked in and did the tasting menu (which apparently is the same for lunch and dinner) and almost popped the food was so delicious. Every item on the menu was something I would never have chosen for myself, but was incredibly impressed by- the chicken heart, wingbean salad, and claypot ulam rice were all standouts. There was nothing I didn’t like, or found insufficiently nuanced. Every dish was perfectly balanced and delicately plated. I also tried a shot of tuak (Malaysian primitive rice wine) and its sparkling version, which were certainly not my favorite wines ever, but I would absolutely try again. I suspected at the time and have confirmed in retrospect that I was being served by the founder, so the cooks must have been doing their absolute best.

My second visit was about 3 months later: I walked in for lunch and was turned away for arriving too late (google maps hours say 3pm but their last seating is apparently 2pm); I was told to make a reservation for the next day. I did not because, frankly, having eaten there already, I was indifferent to whether or not I ate there again- happy to have a decent meal, happy to move on and try somewhere new, depending on where I found myself at lunchtime. I did walk in immediately upon their opening, and was scolded! The waiter said “We really only take reservations for lunch, I remember you from yesterday” and acted like it was a big deal to accommodate me despite the place being near-empty and me being a party of one. I had checked their online reservation system just an hour prior and seen free slots for literally every half hour from opening to closing, so while I appreciate they may purchase ingredients daily based on reservations, there was no reason to pretend they were making a huge sacrifice by serving me during a very slow lunch hour.

When seated, I asked for the tasting menu, which looked to have changed since last I was there, and was refused, told it was too much food for me . . . sigh. My mother died of complications of ulcerative colitis. My uncle died of kidney failure. I’m getting a gastroscopy myself in literally 3 days and obviously not looking forward to it. As long as I am in good enough health to eat and drink the best, and whatever I want, in large amounts, I intend to. Unless CTbG had not bought a single extra serving’s worth of ingredients for the tasting menu, and planned on turning away everyone who did not make an advanced reservation, even come dinnertime, I should have been served. I ordered à la carte instead, and it was not great. The local oysters are bland compared to the American oysters I grew up with; the stingray cracker tasted old and had lots of bony bits; the stinky tofu wasn’t stinky. The chef’s pouring, orange wine from Spain, was terrible in my opinion, yet inexplicably popular in Penang, popping up at several restaurants. They didn’t have any tuak, so I tried a local beer, which was forgettable.

It’s fair to say Communal Table is still overall high quality and shows some imagination, but expensive and inconsistent . . . and I don’t really want to pay $75 for a hit-or-miss lunch with bold waitstaff.

L: Golden Pomfret R: Chicken Heart

Pork Skewer

Chawan

Wingbean Salad

Claypot Ulam Rice

Barramundi

“Banana Cream Pie”

?! I don’t remember, it was only for that day’s tasting menu

Penang Oyster

Stingray Cracker

Stinky Tofu

Hazy NEIPA

“Sweet Corn” dessert

Penang Road Famous Laksa

Serving up the old school classics to hundreds of locals and tourists daily, this place sort of sets the standard for what penang laksa is. Assam means sour, and the broth is sour and sweet and herbal. I liked it, didn’t love it, but would have no problem eating it again. The char kuey teow was a bit too greasy and bland for me; I can’t help but wonder how these greasy spoons get Michelin bib gourmands in SE Asia. It would be like giving every half-decent suburban American diner a Michelin nod. The omelette was unexpectedly excellent- I was really surprised by it. I’d go back for the omelette. The softshell crabs are sold by a streethawker who goes around into all the restaurants with her snack menu. They could use more seasoning- salt, pepper, salted egg yolk- but were still crunchy and a good snack for walking around, coming in a plastic cup. The nutmeg juice is a local classic: I love a refreshing sugary juice once in a while.

Penang Assam Laksa (sour and spicy fish broth with lemongrass, galangal, chili, thick rice noodles, onions, mint, pineapple, strong and sweet prawn paste, and ginger flower)

Char Kuey Teow (eggs, bean sprouts, chives, shrimp, sliced fish cakes, fried with flat rice noodles)

Amy’s Famous Omelette- half oyster, half shrimp

Fried Small Softshell Crabs

My own café

The simplest menu, the cheapest food, the emptiest restaurant at lunchtime . . . I have no idea how this place survives, but the Assam Laksa and Durian ice coffee were excellent and I’d happily go back anytime.

Penang Assam Laksa

Durian White Coffee

tho yuen

Bibik’s kitchen

Bibik’s was the first nyonya food I ever ate. She is an overbearing auntie (Bibik literally means “auntie” in Malay), and the service is impeccable. The food is on the mild/sweet side. The standouts are the kerabu salads, jiu hu char, and hot nutmeg drink.

Rose Apple Kerabu (rose apple, cucumber, shallots and torch ginger, dressed in lime juice and sambal belacan)

Udang Masak Nenas (mild shrimp and pineapple curry)

Jiu Hu Char (shredded jicama, finely-julienned dried cuttlefish, carrots and pork, topped with spring onions)

Loh Bak (5-spice marinated pork wrapped with bean curd skin and deep-fried)

Butterfly Pea Flower, Pandan, Lemongrass and White Rice

lemongrass is my personal fave

Bubur Cha Cha (taro, sweet potatoes, bananas, sago, beans in a lightly pandan-flavoured coconut milk base)

Nutmeg drink

Ivy’s Nyonya Cuisine

The menu here was extremely limited and classic, mostly intended for large parties. I didn’t love everything- the barley drink, fish maw soup, and sambal hae bee were interesting, but I doubt I’ll ever eat them again. The kapitan chicken, assam seabass and bee koh moy were wonderful, with more interesting and complex flavor profiles than others I’ve tried. On returning to Penang a second time, I forgot about Ivy’s, and I think it’s because of the really boring interior. The elderly owners are understandably tired of running around and have purchased one of those Korean robot waiters; it was my first time using one. I don’t mind but obviously can’t call it a warm or luxury experience. They have a bit of memorabilia in a couple display cases, but nothing I’d call décor. I’m not sure I’ve ever forgotten good food before due to lack of a memorable aesthetic, so Ivy’s may be the first. The set dinner is a good deal and worth a visit.

Sambal Hae Bee (dried spicy shrimp)

Kapitan Curry Chicken

Hoo Pioh Th’ng (fish maw soup)

Jiu Hu Char

Steamed Seabass in Nyonya Assam Sauce

Barley Tea

Lime Juice

Bee Koh Moy (black glutinous rice porridge topped with coconut milk)

Green House Prawn Mee Corner

One of those small super-cluttered shops catering to local and tourist Chinese, I was really unsure what to order, so I asked them to give me whatever they were famous for. I ended up with classic Hokkien prawn mee, which they served with a mix of bihun and egg noodles, rib tips and a tea egg. It was tasty and satisfying in a very basic way, but I wish I had gone for the mix with law mee. Odds I’ll ever find myself on that street and hungry seem low, but you never know!

Hokkien Prawn Mee

Auntie Gaik Lean's Old School Eatery

This restaurant has the distinction of being awarded 1 Michelin star, so not just a bib gourmand. I suspect it’s rather more due to the location and clientele (diplomats, business tycoons and visiting royalty on special occasions; local investment bankers and hoteliers and their families most days) than the food. According to the owner/chef’s son, the deciding dish for the Michelin reviewer (who I thought were supposed to maintain strict anonymity?) was the nasi ulam, the herbs for which his granny and auntie climb the mountains in the early morning or some such . . . I appreciated it in a sort of academic sense, but wouldn’t bother going back for it. The flavors of the fish curry were disappointing to me, as was the cold nutmeg juice. The pie tee were tasty but unremarkable.

I have a terrible habit of walking in without a reservation, and in SE Asia this means usually getting seated at a communal table with fellow seat-of-our-pants fliers. The evening I visited Gaik Lean’s was spent in the company of a variety of ethnically Asian (northern mainland Chinese, Japanese, native Singaporean) Singaporean bankers, who happily shared the dishes they ordered with me and provided their rather more informed perspectives on the food. I felt too awkward photographing them, but did have assam prawns and kapitan curry chicken at their behest. We all agreed: terribly anti-climactic.

Pie Tee (crispy pastry tart shell typically filled with a spicy and sweet mixture of shredded Chinese turnips, thinly sliced vegetables and prawns)

Nasi Ulam (cold rice tossed with local shredded herbs and spices)

Gulai Tumis (Tamarind Fish Curry)

Cold Nutmeg Juice

Duck Blood Curry Mee

After getting the Michelin nod, this place cheaped out and substituted cheaper, less smooth pork blood for duck blood . . . so annoying. I didn’t know what to order, so told the owner to serve me whatever they were famous for; you can be the judge of the mix photographed. Pork belly and blood gelatins are challenging foods for me, things I’m willing to give a shot because of Michelin but wouldn’t otherwise. It was tasty enough, and the giant bottle of beer didn’t hurt. I probably wouldn’t go back, but I enjoyed trying.

Duck (but actually pork) Blood Curry Mee with “everything” (clams, tofu, pork belly, radish, shrimp, some offal I don’t recognize . . . )

Joo Hooi

Probably the most famous spot in an alley of famous spots, they serve up the standards. The otak-otak here was the first bearable version of the dish I’ve ever had; I have had nauseating versions in Laos and Thailand. I don’t like it, I would never order it if it wasn’t specifically recommended by Michelin, but this is the first time I’ve even found it edible. The oysters in the omelette were the biggest of any place I’ve tried, but the dish itself was bland and greasy. This place is most famous for its char kuay teow, and it was just OK to me- satisfying, but in a sleazy fried way. The payment system is obnoxious- it’s cash only and they demand payment immediately for each individual dish or drink, so it’s a constant back and forth of cash and change with multiple waiters, horribly inconvenient. I’m glad to have tried such a famous place but would never go back.

Otak-Otak (ground fish, eggs, herbs, wrapped in a banana leaf before steaming)

Char Kuey Teow (eggs, bean sprouts, chives, shrimp, sliced fish cakes, fried with flat rice noodles)

Oyster Omelette

Ghee Lian

I have no idea how this “green tomyam” got a Michelin nod. Perhaps compared to typical Malaysian food it’s unique, but as far as Thai green tom yam soups go, this is beyond basic. I suppose it being (supposedly) fresh seafood, simple, and cheap recommends it. There’s a choice of fish, shrimp, cuttlefish, fish head and grouper, or you can get several. I went with just shrimp because I wasn’t feeling very experimental. The instant ramen noodles annoyed me more than the 25 minute wait time. I hated the outdoor hawker stall atmosphere; people feel free to smoke anywhere they please, and when it’s busy it’s difficult to escape. Also, the view of the water is really not that special. It might feel special from a pool at the E&O; it doesn’t sitting here. Wouldn’t bother again.

Durian Popiah from the stall next door

Ah Boy Koay Teow Th'ng

This food cart has been making this soup for over 30 years, and for 6 ringgit, I can’t complain, buuuuutttt . . . according to google reviews this is the best fish ball noodle soup in Malaysia. I thought it was extremely bland, the noodles didn’t impress, and mystery meat balls and bits are the kind of thing I have to steel myself for and am very rarely happily surprised by . . . and I wasn’t here. That said, I’ve had tons of noodle soups in all different countries in my years in SE Asia, and still have no idea how this place got a bib gourmand. I think this is a cultural difference about a no-frills cheap local breakfast food; if someone who just doesn’t really like salmon or dairy showed up in New York and tried an untoasted plain bagel with cream cheese, lox and capers, of course they wouldn’t like it. Oh well.

Koay Teow Th'ng

Yuzu Juice

Moh Teng Pheow Nyonya Koay

I showed up sometime after 3pm and they were no longer making food; I was able to pick out a couple readymade things from the cold case. The rice dumpling was really tasty, and when I look at other people’s pictures of the food on google maps reviews, it looks wonderful. However, I will never go here again, because the owners smoke in the restaurant, and allow patrons to smoke in the restaurant. That’s a hard pass and a 1-star-admonishment-review every time.

Bak Chang (glutinous rice, white beans, chicken, mushroom, salted egg yolk), Ang Ku (mung bean paste filled pandan-flavored glutinous rice cake), ice tea

and an honorable non-mention . . . TEKSEN

I have tried to eat here 3 or 4 times, for lunch and dinner, and there is never a line of fewer than 50 people down the street and around the block. Last time I visited, the white tourist vans packed with mainland Chinese were dropping them off in herds. Can you imagine being from mainland China and wanting to eat fucking Cantonese food when you come to Penang? Unless they pay me to eat there, absolutely not.